Teach girls to be brave, not perfect..!

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Heard parents saying..???

“Dont go in sun to play, you will get tanned” ” Be careful while playing, you will get bruised,  I don’t want you to get marks on your Pretty face” “Take care of yourself, don’t ignore your health, you have to look pretty when you grow up” “My perfect little girl, always dressed up”

And ” My son is so naughty, he always comes home with injury every other day”(pride faced) ” I don’t have to worry about him, he can take care of himself”

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In our society, most girls are taught to avoid risk and failure. Girls are taught to smile pretty, play it safe, get all A’s. Boys, on the other hand, are taught to play rough, swing high, crawl to the top of the monkey bars and then just jump off head first. And by the time they’re adults,  they’re habituated to take risk after risk. They’re rewarded for it. In other words, we’re raising our girls to be perfect, and we’re raising our boys to be brave.

Girls are as good as boys in Maths, analytics and problem solving: NCERT survey says. We are not arguing about who is better here. Nor are we discussing gender discrimination. We are talking about a totally different approach.

In her speech at TEDTALK, Reshma Saujani says: A Psychologist found in her study that bright girls were quick to give up. The higher the IQ, the more likely they were to give up. Bright boys, on the other hand, found the difficult material to be a challenge.They found it energizing. They were more likely to redouble their efforts. It‘s not a question of ability. The difference is in how boys and girls approach a challenge.

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A professor at the University of Columbia and teaches intro to Java says  about his office hours with computer science students. When the guys are struggling with an assignment,they’ll come in and they’ll say, “Professor, there’s something wrong with my code.” The girls will come in and say, “Professor, there’s something wrong with me.” Girls will prefer not showing anything done rather  than showing an incorrect work.

An HP report found that men will apply for a job if they meet only 60 percent of the qualifications, but women, women will apply only if they meet 100 percent of the qualifications. 100 percent. This study is usually invoked as evidence that, well, women need a little more confidence. But I think it’s evidence that women have been socialized to aspire to perfection, and they’re overly cautious.

It’s either 100 percent or nothing, but not in a good way. It’s either getting it done or giving up. There is no trial and error approach. And that is disturbing.

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We have to socialize our girls to be comfortable with imperfection, and we’ve got to do it. We cannot wait for them to learn how to be brave like I did when I was 20 years old. We have to show them ,its ok to make mistakes, its ok to take risks and its ok  to fail.

 She further says: We have to teach them to be brave  early in their careers, when it has the most potential to impact their lives and the lives of others, and we have to show them that they will be loved and accepted not for being perfect but for being courageous

 And so I request each of you to tell every young woman you know — your sister, your niece,  your student, your employee, your colleague — to be comfortable with imperfection, because when we teach girls to be imperfect, and we help them leverage it, we will build a movement of young women who are brave and who will build a better world for themselves and for each and every one of us. 

Girls just dont have to be perfect, they can be imperfect and yet take risks and evolve, Struggle and achieve, err and Learn.

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