Changing Parenting…

Silhouette, group of happy children playing on meadow, sunset, sI was in the park with my daughter, we regularly go for a walk….
One day while passing by I saw one of the children fell down. His mother ran to his son, scooped him in her lap and started inquiring – “Are you hurt? Let me see! Do no cry! Shush, mama is here.”
The child had a scraped knee, who was perfectly OK till then, started crying earnestly.
while talking one of the child’s mother said to her son-“your teacher scolded you??? mommy is stronger than her. I will see to it……….”
I was at a friend’s home for lunch. Her 5-year old daughter refused to eat what was cooked for lunch. My friends felt so guilty that her daughter would go hungry, that she cooked up her favorite pasta immediately. According to her, it was not the first time this had happened.

Our parents taught us self-reliance, respect to teachers, and scolded when we were wrong, I was the toughest kid of the lot and how did I become so??

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Now A Days, we hover around our children and want to protect them at all costs. We like to hold our babies closer to the protection of the nest. We go out of our way and rustle up something when they don’t eat what’s cooked at home for everyone else, because we don’t want them to sleep hungry. Instead of letting them play outside, we organize activities for them. We do their homework and their assignments. We even resolve their conflicts for them.

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It makes me wonder, what will happen to these kids when they grow up?
Will they be able to handle disappointment? A child who has never been denied anything, how will he cope with rejections?
How will they learn to respect their teacher?
There are a growing number of cases when kids run away from home or commit suicide because they are not able to deal with low marks in examinations or when they fail to secure an admission in an institution of their choice.

Will their parents keep them hidden in their bosom all their life? Our mothers never ran after us, a scraped knee was just that. She would ask us to wash it with some water and then forget about it. But, there was no drama that followed.

Falling and hurting was a part of daily life for us. We cycled, climbed up trees and jumped from the stairs. Today, kids travel in elevators and escalators (because they might fall down the stairs and get themselves hurt). Earlier, kids walked and cycled. Played and fell. Fought and reconciled.

I hardly see kids walking nowadays unless it’s a kids’ marathon and they are required to pose for selfies with their cool mommies.

Will they shy away from competition or be able to survive it? OK, so we can accompany our kids till the college gate and sit in the waiting area while they appear for a job interview.

A child who is never used to losing – how will he survive in the big bad world?

We are raising our kids to be adult babies.
Stop telling our children that they are special all the time. They are not, at least not always. So reserve the praises for the times when they actually deserve.

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Stop going out of the way to create happiness in their life. The life is a mix of joys and sorrows, and it is for a reason. We have no right to interfere with nature. So let’s stop pretending that everything is all right when it’s not. Let the kids have their fair share of disappointments at an early age. It’s better to learn disappointment at 10 then at 30.!!!!

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