Extracted from empathetic listening……(social encounters of a nonwimpy wife)
Chronicles of a depressed Indian wife#001
“How was your day?” He looks at me. He doesn’t like questions. “fine,” said he. I am serving dinner. He doesn’t look away from the cell phone. “I don’t like this dish. You don’t know how to cook. Take interest in cooking.” I avoid looking at him or replying him. What’s the point? I don’t care what he says. I have stopped caring a while ago. There are hardly 3-4 sentences that we speak to each other during a day or maybe night. Or maybe since long. He never realizes it. I am too strong willed to take the initiative. Maybe egoistic. I don’t know. I never complain about anything. I solve my own problems. Probably he doesn’t like it that way. Maybe he thinks a wife should be subdued. A mute follower. Maybe a passive listener. I don’t think I can be that. How can an independent woman be so? Unless she is taught to be or up brought to be. Maybe my parents are to blame. They never taught me to accept the fate without fighting.
Chronicles of a depressed Indian wife#002
“you are not interested in household work. Look at my friend’s wives, they all do the chores with interest” he says. “No, they do not. It’s a part of their job description which has been assigned by centuries, woven in culture and injected into their blood by their family” I think. No point in arguments. Do you think my daughter will do the same? I honestly don’t know. But better it be her choice, not a duty.
Chronicles of a depressed Indian wife#003
“you are supposed to look cheerful and happy when some guests come to our house” ok. Well. I am on my periods and they appeared unannounced. I have my plans with my daughter. I can cancel them but I can’t act over cheerful because I must. I can be formal but not genuinely happy. “What year is it?” “2016”. Yes, ok. Not much since 1947, I guess. There is a series of lectures and monologs of advice on being an ideal wife, Repeating and on-air broadcasting by him every week or two. Is there anything like an ideal wife? Who invented the rules? How do you define it? Who gave you the insight to define what an ideal wife should be like? Did you got inspired by mythology? Do you follow the same for being an ideal husband? Have you checked lately? Society has become important than your family.
Chronicles of a depressed Indian wife#004
“you do not dress up properly. You have no interest in looking presentable in public. You don’t have a fashion sense.” Well I am a kind of person who likes being comfortable than presentable. I love t-shirt and jeans over ridiculous long dresses and heels. I do dress up but not too much. I like being simple. Not that I am not beautiful. I had long line of suitors before I got married to you. I am a middle-class wife of an ambitious husband. I will dress up when I like and what I like. Passing from a security check counter of your approval on every occasion exhausts me out. Throws away my interest in dressing up. Did you think ever to ask me for once what I like to wear?
To be continued……….