The Daily post Photo challenge: Edge


Edge to me is anything extreme. Brink or a verge of anything. May it be a sun about to set or a para sailing traveler about to take a dip in the ocean. Edge of excitement..!!!


Teach girls to be brave, not perfect..!


Heard parents saying..???

“Dont go in sun to play, you will get tanned” ” Be careful while playing, you will get bruised,  I don’t want you to get marks on your Pretty face” “Take care of yourself, don’t ignore your health, you have to look pretty when you grow up” “My perfect little girl, always dressed up”

And ” My son is so naughty, he always comes home with injury every other day”(pride faced) ” I don’t have to worry about him, he can take care of himself”


In our society, most girls are taught to avoid risk and failure. Girls are taught to smile pretty, play it safe, get all A’s. Boys, on the other hand, are taught to play rough, swing high, crawl to the top of the monkey bars and then just jump off head first. And by the time they’re adults,  they’re habituated to take risk after risk. They’re rewarded for it. In other words, we’re raising our girls to be perfect, and we’re raising our boys to be brave.

Girls are as good as boys in Maths, analytics and problem solving: NCERT survey says. We are not arguing about who is better here. Nor are we discussing gender discrimination. We are talking about a totally different approach.

In her speech at TEDTALK, Reshma Saujani says: A Psychologist found in her study that bright girls were quick to give up. The higher the IQ, the more likely they were to give up. Bright boys, on the other hand, found the difficult material to be a challenge.They found it energizing. They were more likely to redouble their efforts. It‘s not a question of ability. The difference is in how boys and girls approach a challenge.

boys vs girls funny sms(1)

A professor at the University of Columbia and teaches intro to Java says  about his office hours with computer science students. When the guys are struggling with an assignment,they’ll come in and they’ll say, “Professor, there’s something wrong with my code.” The girls will come in and say, “Professor, there’s something wrong with me.” Girls will prefer not showing anything done rather  than showing an incorrect work.

An HP report found that men will apply for a job if they meet only 60 percent of the qualifications, but women, women will apply only if they meet 100 percent of the qualifications. 100 percent. This study is usually invoked as evidence that, well, women need a little more confidence. But I think it’s evidence that women have been socialized to aspire to perfection, and they’re overly cautious.

It’s either 100 percent or nothing, but not in a good way. It’s either getting it done or giving up. There is no trial and error approach. And that is disturbing.


We have to socialize our girls to be comfortable with imperfection, and we’ve got to do it. We cannot wait for them to learn how to be brave like I did when I was 20 years old. We have to show them ,its ok to make mistakes, its ok to take risks and its ok  to fail.

 She further says: We have to teach them to be brave  early in their careers, when it has the most potential to impact their lives and the lives of others, and we have to show them that they will be loved and accepted not for being perfect but for being courageous

 And so I request each of you to tell every young woman you know — your sister, your niece,  your student, your employee, your colleague — to be comfortable with imperfection, because when we teach girls to be imperfect, and we help them leverage it, we will build a movement of young women who are brave and who will build a better world for themselves and for each and every one of us. 

Girls just dont have to be perfect, they can be imperfect and yet take risks and evolve, Struggle and achieve, err and Learn.


Why am I disappointed with Sultan…


We Indian women are mostly very good at cooking skills. If we think we messed up at a recipe, we add some obvious spices to make its taste better and hype its garnishing.

( But that doesnt make it better in an eye of a good food critic ..i.e Master chef Australia : Matt Preston)

That’s what have happened with Sultan. Trying to make a better entertaining and emotionally appealing film, it has become an epitome of typical  Indian masculine psyche.

Mostly I am disappointed because Anushka (considering her feminist stance in Public and which reflects in her choice of movies like NH 10) signed up for this idiocy.

Anushka plays Aarfa, a young girl who has been training for years as a wrestler, because she dreams of bringing home an Olympic gold for India. So much so that, when she notices the neighbourhood wagabond showering attention on her with nuptial intent, she categorically tells him that she has one focus only – wrestling. Not surprisingly, Salman’s Sultan, his roadside male ego in tow, seems to spot consent in her rebuke.

Soon enough, Sultan (who is in his 30s) takes up wrestling only because his masculinity was hurt. He excels at it (obviously- considering he is Salman Khan), which instantly turns Anushka’s heart….??!! Before long, they’re married. Meanwhile, Sultan is convinced that he will have a male child,how do you justify that?  Aarfa discovers she’s pregnant around the same time she receives a letter confirming her selection for the 2012 Olympics in London.

Her father (who also happens to be her coach) blames *her* for the pregnancy. Then Aarfa, a girl who has spent blood, sweat, tears and years chasing her Olympic medal dream, takes one look at an overjoyed Sultan exulting after the news of her pregnancy, before she says to her distraught father, ‘What greater medal could I get than this..!!!.(A woman’s job is to bear children to her man)


  • Sultan, a no-gooder with barely a few months of training, win an Olympic gold for India in wrestling….!!??? Not only is that irrationally idiotic, it’s also downright disrespectful to anyone who has won an Olympic gold.
  • A young aspiring athlete’s Years of ambition, thrown away in the most depressingly regressive way possible. (Heard about family planning?Discuss with your spouse?)
  • It’s also shamefully patriarchal, misogynistic and unabashedly propagating the same kind of ‘no means yes’ behavior.( If a girl says no I am not interested, somewhere in her heart n mind there is an obvious “Yes”!!!????)

Sultan repeatedly glorifies all that has been identified as problematic in the messages around gender that our cinema gives out.

But When you see Mary Komm of Priyanka Chopra, You realize its not over. You can raise above everything and still fetch your dreams. Marry Komm’s self-revelation and struggle to excel starts where Arfa’s end.